Lately I have been missing these girls. I think that a lot of the time I took for granted my time at Western. I love the feeling of being on a team and feeling that team bond. I have been talking to some of the girls and they all seem to be doing good, every where throughout the country now. I have to admit that I am glad that I am not up for conditioning in the morning; now I just got to find motivation to keep working out and stay fit. I got it in me :) Some of my best friends are on this team and I miss them like crazy. It is weird to be moved back to my home town and have my friends be married or away at school so there is like nothing to do. I get major family bonding time though which is nice. Also I am able to play ball with Susan Lindley on Monday nights which I love so much. It is great and it brings back some of that competition into my life... which I need. It is fun. My little sister Bayli is going to play ball. I convinced her of the beauty of the sport. I will post pictures soon.She looks so cute with her spandex and knee pads... gosh i love her.
I have been thinking about how everything is going to work out. you know when you just have that feeling like I have a plan A... but my plan B needs to be worked on. Yeah that's how I am feeling. I feel like I am in this awkward stage of my life, at least for the next few months. It is like when you are in limbo state because you just honestly don't know what is going to happen next. I have given up so much of for sure things for the "possibility" of something else. I do not regret giving those things up because that possibility is what I truly do want, it just makes me nervous thinking that I now I could not end up with any of it. I have reached the point where I just have to learn to trust God and to know that he knows what is in store for me. I am very grateful for the opportunity that I have to take this risk; but sometimes I wish things could speed up a little for me. Uncertainty is not a walk in the park.
Do you ever have those people who just nag and nag you about a certain thing or just don't know when to be quiet? I do! I have been trying to tell coaches that I am not interested in playing anymore. I have come to the conclusion that my "possibility" is better than what they can give me right now. I feel like I have this hole that is waiting to be filled. I know that it may be filled in a different way than i hope for but it is still the possibility that keeps me going. I have been accepted to Utah State University for 2 full ride years... up to my bachelors no student loans whoop! Hard work does pay off. I have been trying to tell coaches that or people that and this seems to be the favorite response... " If you have to go into debt, go into debt and take loans." I don't know if that sounds insane to you, but it does to me. I understand that some girls love volleyball enough to pay to play and I honestly do feel like I love it more than that but right now that just does not fit into my "plan". I think that if there is a way for me not to have to take out loans and to stay debt free that's the better option. Maybe i'm psycho? I don't know, what are your opinions? I feel like I have made my decision... so let me move on PLEASE.
I have been thinking about where life has taken me. I never imagined that I would be where I am today. I honestly can not believe that I only have 144 days left until my best friend gets home. I think that the past 20 months I have grown up and learned to be a better person through all the ups and downs. There have been many things that I have been blessed with the past few years. I have been able to get two years of college paid for, play on an amazing team and did fantastic as a team, made 20 new best friends who i love dearly, and been able to have the worlds best roommate. Although I have never told Candace this, she impacted me so much for the good. She is one of the sweetest girls I know, looking back I wasted a lot of time with other people instead of taking advantage of my time with her! She is a stud! I never would have thought that I would be at home for the last 6 months of Mark's mission... never. And even though I miss the "college life" I know that this is where I need to be right now. Quality time with the family is irreplaceable. I am beyond excited for Jordon to be home in almost two months; seriously once he gets home it it all down hill from there. A-M-E-N.
I have been thinking about how everything is going to work out. you know when you just have that feeling like I have a plan A... but my plan B needs to be worked on. Yeah that's how I am feeling. I feel like I am in this awkward stage of my life, at least for the next few months. It is like when you are in limbo state because you just honestly don't know what is going to happen next. I have given up so much of for sure things for the "possibility" of something else. I do not regret giving those things up because that possibility is what I truly do want, it just makes me nervous thinking that I now I could not end up with any of it. I have reached the point where I just have to learn to trust God and to know that he knows what is in store for me. I am very grateful for the opportunity that I have to take this risk; but sometimes I wish things could speed up a little for me. Uncertainty is not a walk in the park.
Do you ever have those people who just nag and nag you about a certain thing or just don't know when to be quiet? I do! I have been trying to tell coaches that I am not interested in playing anymore. I have come to the conclusion that my "possibility" is better than what they can give me right now. I feel like I have this hole that is waiting to be filled. I know that it may be filled in a different way than i hope for but it is still the possibility that keeps me going. I have been accepted to Utah State University for 2 full ride years... up to my bachelors no student loans whoop! Hard work does pay off. I have been trying to tell coaches that or people that and this seems to be the favorite response... " If you have to go into debt, go into debt and take loans." I don't know if that sounds insane to you, but it does to me. I understand that some girls love volleyball enough to pay to play and I honestly do feel like I love it more than that but right now that just does not fit into my "plan". I think that if there is a way for me not to have to take out loans and to stay debt free that's the better option. Maybe i'm psycho? I don't know, what are your opinions? I feel like I have made my decision... so let me move on PLEASE.
I have been thinking about where life has taken me. I never imagined that I would be where I am today. I honestly can not believe that I only have 144 days left until my best friend gets home. I think that the past 20 months I have grown up and learned to be a better person through all the ups and downs. There have been many things that I have been blessed with the past few years. I have been able to get two years of college paid for, play on an amazing team and did fantastic as a team, made 20 new best friends who i love dearly, and been able to have the worlds best roommate. Although I have never told Candace this, she impacted me so much for the good. She is one of the sweetest girls I know, looking back I wasted a lot of time with other people instead of taking advantage of my time with her! She is a stud! I never would have thought that I would be at home for the last 6 months of Mark's mission... never. And even though I miss the "college life" I know that this is where I need to be right now. Quality time with the family is irreplaceable. I am beyond excited for Jordon to be home in almost two months; seriously once he gets home it it all down hill from there. A-M-E-N.
Life is good. Just remember to find joy in the journey and face the future with faith! Where there is no struggle there is no strength ♥
Jocelyn you are amazing! Couldn't have been said better. You know what you need and don't let anyone else convince you they know better. Miss you!
ReplyDelete