the unkown...

Have you ever wondered how life would be different if you had a set plan?

That's how I am feeling today. For the first time in my life I do not know what I am doing with my life. Of course there are those things that will not change like: get a masters degree, get married, have a family etc. But where who when and what!!?? Where do I WANT to go to school. Who am I going to marry? WHEN will all this happen? Normally I have my life planned out in my planner like to the hour... even second.... but now I don't even know what I will be doing the week after Christmas. Will I be home? Will I be getting up at some school for volleyball conditioning? Will I be at work? WHAT WILL I BE DOING? Today I just feel like it would be nice to know what I will be doing and where I will be at in January. Lately I am leaning towards staying at home and just working until August because my scholarship at Utah State doesn't start till then. I am also of course hoping that when my missionary gets home things will work out there. Growing up is hard.... there are a LOT of decisions that have to be made.

life.

I am a slacker on the blog... I know. I have been so busy the past few months with volleyball and school. But I am proud to say that they both turned out great so the journey was well worth it. I have recently graduated with my associate of arts with an emphasis in social work at Western Wyoming; bittersweet. ♥ The past 18 months have flown by so fast honestly; so much has happened and so much has changed. I am looking forward to the next 6 months because I truly believe that these next 6 months will bring the happiest memories of my life thus far. I have been reflecting on what I have learned while at Western, I know some beg to differ that I have not learned but I am positive I have grown as a person not only a student and athlete. Over the last 18 months I have learned to be my own person. I have learned to take care of myself on my own. I have learned to cook :) I have learned how to love love. Managing volleyball, academics, and work has taught me how to be a well rounded person. I have learned that hard work really does pay off in the end. 18 months ago no one thought that little ol' Jocelyn Ostermiller from Sugar-Salem High School would be getting D1 volleyball offers. It has been amazing to see my progress as an athlete. I have learned so much from Coach Rick Reynolds and I have been so blessed with an amazing team that pushed me everyday in practice.This year we finished 2nd at nationals. Wow, it was such an amazing ride. Coach told us that no matter what happens leave it all out on the court and then we will feel accomplished. I can honestly say that every game at nationals I gave my all and I left no regrets. Although we did not finish as national champions I could not be more proud of my team for what we accomplished. One of my favorite plays from the season came from the championship match. Coach called a time out and was telling our defense passers how to dig the outside hitter that had crushed a few balls earlier. I got a burst of fire and I turned to our assistant coaches and said that the defense wouldn't need to dig if I blocked her. Well I went out on the court all pumped and ready to go just focusing on blocking the outside... half way thinking in my head " ya right joc she has beat you too much already"... I decided that that was before this is now... and then... i BLOCKED her!! :) Oh gosh it gives me chills still ha such an amazing rush of adrenaline. Thanks for letting me share that story haha. I was able to graduate this semester with a 4.0 which felt amazing. It feels great to know I could accomplish that while playing ball and missing so much school. I also was able to have a cumulative 3.923 at Western. This GPA gives me a two free years at Utah State University. So that means that I could go to 4 years of college for $0... awesome right? No student loans... I won't complain ;) But this also brings me to my next life choice... Over the past 2 months I have been blessed with scholarship offers all over the country... from Maryland to Hawaii. And to my surprise I have offers from some amazing D1 schools. I have gone on recruting trips to University of Louisiana, University of Utah... and still have more trips on the calendar. So here is the question i need help with: Do I go play volleyball somewhere... or do I get a full time job, take a semester off (since I am ahead anyways) and earn some money? Because if I didn't play I could start at USU in August on full scholarship academically (USU does not give Spring scholarships... dumb right??). HELP ME! I would really appreciate some advice from you all... feel free to give it! :) On a brighter side life is great. I look forward to what the future brings... I hope it entails all I have imagined. ♥

Friends ♥

Someone once told me that you make your life long friends while at college; I can now say that is true. Candace Clifford has been my roommate for the past 2 years at Western and she has been such a great friend. There are so many things that I will miss about not rooming with Cand but a few will sure stick out: (1) Her alarm clock going off three or four times a night and she couldn't find her phone so it would just keep going off. (2) Her talent of stroking my hair... felt so good! (3) Laughing about a million things before we went to bed. (4) Watching her read her scriptures every night... even if she fell asleep 98% of the time ;). (5) Going to Wal-Mart... she knows why! Kortnie has been such a blessing. She is one of the sweetest girls i know. Kort always knew exactly what to say and when to say it. She has a way of making every single person feel important and needed. Kort taught me how to love love. She taught me how to be myself and to have no fears. I love you girls so much!One night we had a ""comfy" night... here are our comfortable warm outfits. ♥

Cheesy.... we know.

Our first day of school this past fall 2011

"A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same."

Elbert Hubbard

This Video goes along with the post below it, enjoy ♥

God Gave Me You ♥

So today I am in need of a reminder of why I love my missionary so much. You know when you just love something because you love it? Well that is how I feel with Mark sometimes and it is so great. Let me explain, there is just something about this man that makes me feel so good inside on a daily basis. Even though he is thousands of miles away I still can feel my connection with him. The best feeling in the world is to know that I have a best friend, boyfriend and true love that are all the same person. Sometimes I just find myself dazing off to old times where he and I had a total blast together. We were not only happy together, we were real and that's what made it so special. Mark and I kept a journal together for about two years before he left on his mission filled with all our adventures and memories. I love to go back and read what we did and how I felt. I am so blessed to have this man in my life and for the relationship he and I share together. Last Tuesday I went on a date here in Rock Springs with a soccer player. It was probably my first official blind date and it totally reassured me that Mark is the one for me. My date went well but I just was not interested in what the guy had to offer me, he was a returned missionary from Argentina and a total stud but something just wasn't there. It was one of those dates where you wonder when in the world you will be taken home. I am so grateful for the chance that I have to date while my missionary is gone but I am more grateful that those dates reassure me that much more on Mark. I have really enjoyed reading letters from Mark and getting to know him all over again. The other night I was reading a letter from June and found myself totally cracking up over something that he had said.

Life is a wonderful Journey and it will be even better when I get to spend it with my man.

"We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere."
-Tim McGraw

"Missing someone gets easier everyday because even though you are one day further from the last time you saw them, you are one day closer to the next time you'll see them"
“I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.”